Great Expectations
By: Roxanne Estrellado-Limjoco
I was a mother at the age of 19. I was practically a baby when I had my baby. I was one of the fortunate expecting mothers who didn’t have a difficult time with cravings, sensitivity to odors, nausea, vomiting and drowsiness. I enjoyed my pregnancy so much because of the excuse it gave me for pigging out. I also loved dressing up and getting that special attention from everyone! When the time came for me to give birth to my eldest son, I was all set to experience the worst pain I would ever feel in my entire life. This frame of my mind I have my friend to thank, I was able to talk to her right after she gave birth and got this warning. So when it was my turn, it turned out that when you expect the worst, giving birth would be a breeze! When my mother and mother-in-law found out my ease in birth-giving, they assumed that I would probably be pregnant soon. And they were right, 11 months after I was again giving birth to my baby girl.
When I think about my first pregnancy, I couldn’t help but smile. My husband was only 20 years old then so we were like children playing bahay-bahayan. But young as we were, we religiously went to my OB-GYN and followed everything she said. With the help of our parents, we were guided all the way. We bought baby stuff only on the latter part of my 2nd trimester. We only bought yellow or white colored clothes since we didn’t know the baby’s gender yet. On the last trimester, we already had our bags packed for the hospital stay, including the baby’s diaper, receiving blanket, binder, shirt, mittens, booties, baby book and other baby necessities.
The day before giving birth to my firstborn, I was just on one of my regular visits to my doctor. She said I was already 2-3cm dilated and that I should already be admitted to the hospital. I was so relaxed but my husband was so nervous. As we were getting our stuff from the house, he kept asking how I felt. I actually didn’t feel any different, I even asked him to take me out to lunch first before returning to the hospital. On the way to the hospital, he was so much in a hurry that he made a left on a no-left turn road. Of course the police stopped us and he was explaining, more like panicking, that I was about to give birth. When the police looked at me, he said, “E bakit nakatawa pa ang asawa mo?” He did let us go but my husband was so irritated with me for acting so calm. I was laughing the whole time.
While I was in the labor room, funnier things happened. I wore the hospital gown the other way around, with the ribbons in front and my private parts doing a peek-a-boo number for all to see. When the enema was about to be done, they told me to wait a few minutes before going to the bathroom. It was more like a few seconds, as soon as the enema tube left my body, I darted towards the bathroom only to find out that I had to dart back to ask for toilet paper! It was so embarrassing. When I reached 6 or 7cm I was rolled into the delivery room. I remember telling the nurse not to shave it all off and she thought it a weird request but agreed nevertheless. From that time on, I felt like a superstar with the non-stop questioning from different people. From ‘What is your name? How old are you?’ to ‘Is this your first pregnancy? Is this your first delivery?’ But when I started to feel the labor pain, answering became quite difficult. In between contractions, I think I was able to politely tell them to bug off. I know they were only doing their jobs, but I was also trying to do mine.
My water bag never popped, so I was induced by my doctor. Finally, I was fully dilated. This time, I felt the intensity of the pain. My doctor was holding my hand and she told me to only push when she tells me to. I had no idea what pushing meant so I relied heavily on all the movies I’ve seen with women giving birth. This entailed screaming and shouting as hard as you can. I was so ready so when my doctor said “PUSH”, I belted out as hard as I could. I felt like I was shooting a movie. They were so amazed by my acting but my doctor wasn’t. She approached me and said that I didn’t have to yell, I just had to push inside, like I was just doing my thing in the bathroom. Oh I see. I never felt sillier than I did, even with all the pain I was feeling. After a few pushes it was all over. I had a handsome and health baby boy whom my father considers the best birthday present he has ever received. I gave birth exactly on my father’s 50th birthday.
I now have three children. My eldest son is 15, my daughter is 14 and my youngest son is 9. My husband and I love telling stories about all our children’s births. We especially like sharing with our friends how we’ve become experts in child birth. With our eldest, we stayed in the hospital for five days. With our second child, we stayed for three days. With the youngest, it was just an over-night stay. Now my husband teases me that the next time I give birth, I should just be an out-patient! These are the kinds of expectations and experiences that we cherish the most. These are the fun-filled memories that will last a lifetime.
After Birth Tips:
1. Preparation – Prepare your mind and emotions for the arrival of your baby. Have a talk with your husband, parent or friend about your feelings. It is normal to have fear, insecurities, doubt and nervousness.
2. For Mother – Pack the things you need to bring to the hospital on the last trimester of your pregnancy in case of premature delivery. Things a mother needs to bring are: nightgown/pajamas that button in front, robe, slippers, nursing brassieres, underwear, clothes to wear for going home, sanitary napkins, hairbrush, toothbrush, toothpaste, shampoo, soap and cosmetics.
3. For Baby – You also need to pack some things for the baby, usually things needed for going home: shirts, diapers, sweater, bonnet, mittens, booties, binder and receiving blanket. These should all be placed in a baby bag.
4. Extras – Don’t forget to bring the Baby Book for you and the guests to fill up and sign. Have your camera ready for great shots of the much awaited event. Of course, money is needed for small items to be bought and for payment of the hospital bill.
5. Name – You should have at least two names ready for either a baby boy or a baby girl. The hospital will not release you without naming your baby.
6. Physical Changes – Abdominal pains will occur caused by the contractions of the uterus as it returns to its normal size. This is for only a few days. Also, a strong vaginal discharge which is red in color appears. As it becomes paler, it also becomes lighter. This should not persist for more than two weeks.
7. Back to Normal – Expect difficulty or discomfort in urinating, passing gas and moving your bowels, especially for first-timers. You will not be allowed to leave the hospital unless you’ve done these to know if your system has gone back to its normal activities.
8. Lactation – Your breasts have already changed during pregnancy. They are larger and more sensitive, but now, they will become harder as it prepares for lactation. This begins at the end of pregnancy as the first spurts of milk, colustrum, comes out.
9. Post-Partum Depression – You may suddenly feel miserable and irritable, this is a phase all mothers go through after childbirth. This is caused by all the stress, tension and effort from delivery.
10. Help – Don’t forget to solicit advice and help from your doctor. Don’t be shy or afraid to ask questions.
